10 NSFW Christmas Pornaments

Warning: If you don’t want to defile every precious holiday memory in the bank, look away now. Santa and the gang are about to get very naughty.

As the holiday season approaches, we’d like to point your attention to “Pornaments,” a collection of X-rated tree ornaments that would make Rudolph blush enough to match that red nose of his. If you’ve ever wanted to see gingerbread men getting it on, Santa in sexy lingerie or a bodacious snowman — or snow woman, rather — now’s your chance.

We’re all for aesthetic experimentation, and usually on board with anything that challenges the Hallmark-esque quality of the Christmas spirit. But even we don’t know if we’re ready to watch Mr. and Mrs. Claus doing the dirty. Whether you’re adding pornaments to your Christmas stocking or silently crying at your desk right now, we’re guessing that you won’t be forgetting these images anytime soon.

Be warned, the following pornaments are very NSFW. Please keep them away from the kids — they make the whole “Santa isn’t real” crisis seem like a walk in the park.

 

1. Holiday Ride

 

2. Boy Toy

 

3. Do Not Open ‘Til Christmas

 

4. Ginger Style

 

5. Hot Lips

 

6. Santa Baby

7. Ho Ho Ho

8. Lip-Locked

9. Cool Licks

 

10. Out for the Holidays

Pornoments

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