30 Things Guys Should NEVER Say In Bed

Reblogged from BuzzFeed, 30 things all men should never, ever say to a woman during sex!

 

1. “Do you mind if my cat watches?”
2. “Tell me I’m your first”
3. “Get me moist.” * pushes head down *
4. “I want to smack your face with my D.”
5. “I want you to choke on my fat cock.”
6. “Swallowing cum is healthy for you.”
7. “It’s easier for me if you just swallow.”
8. “Let’s get your juices flowing.”
9. “Let’s make a deal. How about you give me a blow job?” (that’s it, that’s the whole deal)
10. “You’re going to soak the sheets.”
11. “I just want to eat DAT ASS.”

12. “Let me nibble on your nipples.”
13. “Are you sure you don’t want to? Are you REALLY sure you don’t want to? C’mon, are you positive you don’t want to?”
14. “I’m sorry, I just can’t really *do* condoms.”
15. “Can I fuck you like a dog?” (um do you mean doggie style? Or are you going to be pretending I’m a dog?)
16. “I’m about to tear that pussy up.”
17. “I wanna beat that pussy up.”
18. “Can’t wait to pound that pussy.”
19. “Why are you so tight?”
20. “Let me hit it raw.”
21. “IT’S IN!” (a la Mclovin in Superbad)
22. “Is this it? Is this it? How about this?”

23. “Do you do anal? Do you do anal? Do you do anal? Do you do anal? Do you do anal?”
24. “Let me stick it.”
25. “I like watching your body fat jiggle when I fuck you.”
26. “You’re so ~exotic~.”
27. “Do I have ear wax? Can you see any?”
28. “Did you cum yet? Cause I really need to…”
29. “Why haven’t you cum yet?”
30. “Can I nut?”

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